Going by Faith

John Vandervelde - Program Director

Before coming to work at HoneyRock my wife and I, and our oldest son Brayden, lived in Zambia, Africa for nearly all of 2004.  As you can imagine we had many life-changing moments and made many memories that we'll cherish forever.  Everyday was an adventure, and an opportunity to grow.  We quickly learned the meaning of a phrase that is said often by people there, "we go by faith".  This phrase was regularly said before heading off on a long journey across not-so-great roads, in a not-so-great vehicle.  People would often smile and say, "we go by faith" - meaning, "we know this vehicle is not going to make it to our destination on these ridiculous roads unless the Lord makes it happen".  "We go by faith" means, "we know God is in control and is faithful".  

Having three young children myself, I know there are a lot of moments in parenting that "we go by faith".  I remember putting Brayden on the school bus for the first time.  I was cautious, nervous, and anxious, but knew God was in control.  I certainly could have taken him off the bus and driven him to school to ease my suffering, but it would not have been the best for Brayden.  The time on the bus is a time to meet new people, learn appropriate behavior, be independent, gain confidence and have fun with friends.  Besides that, rescuing Brayden from the bus puts me in control instead of God.  I'm sure you, if you are a parent, can think of countless situations like this, probably ones even more serious than putting your 5 year old on the school bus for the first time.  Without a doubt, in parenting, "we go by faith". 

It is so easy, and so tempting, to step in and rescue our children from everything uncomfortable, harmful, or scary.  It's easy to want to micro-manage all things in their lives.  We think it helps them but really its about easing our own anxiety and fear as a parent.  We want to pick their friends, we want to protect them, we do their homework for them, we call their coaches to make sure they get playing time, we argue with their teachers over one A-, we have a GPS tracking application on our phones that allows us to follow their every move and know where they are at all times, and we make sure that they wear helmets, even when sleeping.  It's really quite sad if you think about it, isn't it?

There's no doubt we need to shelter and protect our kids.  Sometimes.  But this isn't our only job.  Our job is to raise children of Godly character, ready to handle the good and bad in life.   Our goal is to grow and nurture children who will live lives as agents of the Kingdom of God wherever they go.  The work of raising children doesn't involve just sheltering and protecting.  It means that sometimes we allow our children to fail (I know, Gasp!).  We allow them to make their own choices, even if they are not the choices we'd make.  We allow them to skin their knee once in a while.  We might even do something crazy like send them to camp for 2-weeks! 

A few months ago on this blog I shared an article that was in Time Magazine in November 2009.  The article is called "The Backlash Against Overparenting" and was written by Nancy Gibbs.  You can read the article by clicking here.  I got some good feedback from parents saying they enjoyed the article and that it challenged them.  Since then there have been a few more articles that have come across my desk dealing with the same issue.  I thought I'd share another one with you today, you can find it by clicking here. It's called "Helicopter Parents Have Neurotic Kids, Study Suggests" by Rachel Rettner of LiveScience.

Parents: I share these articles with you to encourage you in our parenting journey to "go by faith" today.  For many parents, many of whom are reading this blog, today is one of those days.  Today marks the start of another session of camp and over 170 kids are making their way to HoneyRock today for 2-weeks (or 4-weeks for Service Teamers) of challenge, adventure, character formation, and spiritual growth.  Way to go parents for giving your children this opportunity to grow and develop into young people of solid character!  I know your child's experience will be powerful for them.  My hope is that their time away from home will allow you to grow as well, and that the lessons learned during this time will help you "go by faith" even more.

Comments

[Rebecca]

I've been reading a book called "Parenting by The Book" by John Rosemond that addresses this very issue. He talks about over parenting, helicopter parents and the rediculous notion of thinking that parenting has to adapt to cultural changes like the 60's revolution, non-parenting and the like. In actuality if you are parenting according to "The Book", God hasn't changed over centuries and you are going by faith. It's a great read and nails exactly what you talked about in this blog and the articles. Thanks.